In my quest to encourage good, toilet-related hygiene, I have previously posted about splashback, the floor, the age-old up versus down seat debate, and seat contact prevention.

Today I will be discussing hand-washing. People wash their hands with varying degrees of thoroughness; from not washing all, to the old rinse ‘n’ dry, to a proper soap job. Always do the latter. Unwashed hands in a toilet spread dysentry, cholera, and food poisoning, among others. Remember: it doesn’t matter what you did in the toilet area, even if you just popped in to adjust your tie, if you touch anything WASH YOUR HANDS.

Hygiene does not finish with washing the hands though. You must also adhere to the post-wash protocol. Once you have washed your hands thoroughly, you may not touch anything in that room, except paper hand towels or toilet paper that was not exposed before you entered the room. Everything else in that room is Contaminated.

The two things you are most likely going to need to touch after you have washed your hands are also the most likely to be crawling with Contaminants. The first is the tap. This is the first thing that hand-washer’s touch after finishing their business, and is thus going to have all manner of Contaminants on it. The second is the door handle. For those foul disgusting pigs who do not wash, this is the first thing touched, and will also have all manner of Contaminants.

Once your hands are clean, use a barrier preventative to protect them from contacting the filth. Paper towels will do if nothing else is present. Wash; dry; turn off tap with paper towel; exit room, using paper towel to open door.

Bonus tip: If no barrier protection is available, grasp the door handle or tap in an unusual place, one that is unlikely to have been grasped by the Contaminated hands of the Unclean. These people are Unclean because they are lazy, so their handle-grabbing will always follow the path of least resistance.